The Snare of Shame

Out for a walk one day in the countryside, I suddenly became aware of a fox staring at me, unmoving. It was frozen to the spot, completely alone with its leg badly entangled in a razor-sharp snare. If the fox had moved, the snare would have continued to cut deeper. That’s the problem with snares. They cut deep, and the pain and fear discourage attempts to get free. The fox needed help, but was fearful, and so tried to remain perfectly still, so it would not be noticed.

Shame is like that. It becomes a snare when it goes beyond the point of being helpful in motivating us into changing our behaviour, when we sin, when others treat us shamefully, or when they label us as shameful, and we buy into that. Shame becomes particularly toxic when it invades our inner sense of self and identity.

Toxic shame is like the barbs of a snare cutting deep into the core of who we are, and poisoning and distorting our self-image. It forces us to hide from ourselves, others, and God, because of fear. We are then trapped into loneliness, and an inner sense of emptiness and anguish. The pain, and the fear of exposure of our core ‘bad’ self to others, can be intense. It affects our ability to relate openly and in a satisfying way with others, and with God.

It can seem hopeless, but it isn’t. Psalm 25 says it is the LORD who ‘will release our feet from the snare.' That’s a promise. Jesus won all the power to do so at the cross, when He was shamed, and He died a shameful death in our place.

It is Jesus who sets us free from our hiding places of shame (Isaiah 61:1). He wants our permission, of course, but then asks us to trust Him and allow Him to do it His way, in His timing, and with the understanding He gives. We respond to what He reveals and asks of us, and He heals us and sets us free. Don’t let shame trap you and define you. Let the Lord set you free to be the person He created you to be.