The Battle Within Part 2
by Gilly Mathiesen
In Part 1, I looked at how we can walk in godly ways by being led by the Spirit, enabling us to combat fleshy desires. But what if the driving force is not just our sinful nature? What if it is stemming from unhealed pain and we feel bound by unhealthy patterns, unable to be victorious?
I remember battling with self-hate in my teens. It led at times to unfettered comfort eating and waves of self-disdain and more self-hate would follow. As a Christian, I battled with guilt about the fact that I had this unhealthy relationship to food. There was a battle within, but employing self-discipline did not help me overcome, try as I might, which added more shame and guilt inside. I felt that as a Christian I was failing, as I should be able to overcome and so I’d try harder next time.
The vicious circle continued, until I had a revelation of God’s love and acceptance of me, warts and all. I didn’t realise that a deep wound of rejection, and lack of human comfort as a child, had driven me to find false comfort, as an adult, through food. Self-discipline didn’t address the pain deep down inside. My heart needed healing first, before I could succeed in overcoming the draw to false comfort.
When God brings His comfort and love to those broken places in us, our hearts become healed and we no longer need to find false comfort in such things as masturbation, drugs, alcohol, or food. Even co-dependency in a friendship or relationship can be an unconscious way of trying to fix the wound ourselves, by leaning in an unhealthy way on another person for comfort, rather than letting Jesus heal us.
When we understand the root of our pain and then deal properly with unhealthy and sinful responses to our wounds, by bringing them to Jesus, it leads to freedom and healing. John 8:32 tells us, ‘you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free’. The Greek word ‘Ginosko’ for ‘know’ in this verse means ‘to experientially know or to become properly acquainted (with truth) through personal experience’. John 16:13a tells us about the Holy Spirit’s role in this regard; ‘But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth.’
If you are reading this today and recognise there may be something deeper going on and holding you back from living in godly freedom, I would encourage you to check out our courses and Healing Retreats online.
God wants to set you free and give you hope.
Gilly Mathiesen Gilly has a heart to see broken lives healed. She got involved in Christian ministry at a young age, working as a missionary for some years, as well as teaching at a Christian school. She has been involved with Ellel Ministries for the past 10 years and trained and worked on the team in Northern Ireland before moving to Denmark in 2016. She and her husband Steen have been pioneering an Ellel work there since early 2018. They long to see people healed and set free to be all that God has designed them to be.
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