I was sitting quietly in my kitchen having my lunch when there was suddenly a loud bang. For a time I couldn’t trace where the noise had come from but when I crossed the room I became aware of a horrible smell, and on investigating the egg box, found that one of the eggs had exploded! A neighbour who keeps chickens had kindly given me some eggs, but this one must have been hidden away somewhere for a while.
I have come across people a little like that. Not that they are bad in themselves, but they are holding on to pain and anger from the past and not allowing it to be expressed. Sometimes they are unaware of the cause of the pain because it is deeply buried, sometimes they simply don’t want to acknowledge it, and sometimes they think it is so big that if they let it go it will overwhelm them.
The trouble is that eventually, like the egg, there will be a grand explosion, perhaps in the form of a nervous breakdown, a passionate outburst of anger or some sickness like ME, because trying to suppress emotions for any length of time is too much for us. The fall-out can be, rather like the smelly egg, unpleasant for all those around us. God gave us emotions and it is healthy to express them, but sometimes as children we aren’t allowed to express them. We are told that big boys, or girls, don’t cry, and may be threatened with a beating if we do cry, so we push the emotions down inside where they begin to fester. We may think we have buried them, but unless we deal with them, they won’t be dead, but very much alive. By dealing with them, I mean forgiving the person who has hurt us, and releasing the pain and anger to God. That sounds very simple, though I know from experience that it is often a long process and is better done with others alongside you.
Sometimes we aren’t even sure what has given us the pain, but Jesus knows, and knowing the truth about ourselves, which He can reveal to us at the appropriate time, will enable us to be truly free. One of the members of the ministry team at Ellel Grange used to say, “You are as free as your darkest secret”, and it is only when the deepest and darkest things are brought into the light of Jesus and healed that we can be truly free.
Prayer: Lord Jesus, Thank You that You died on the cross so that I might be free from all my past hurts and pain. Thank You that You carried it all for me so that I can know freedom. Please help me to be honest about the pain, admit it, and allow You to come into the hurting place to set me free. I know that You will be gentle with me and will not allow me to be overwhelmed. Thank You, Lord Jesus, Amen.
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