For a little while now I`ve been thinking about the whole area of trust. Very early on my life my trust was broken, when I was given away for adoption. Actually that breaking probably happened before I was born, when my father walked away leaving my mum pregnant. Growing up I had little or no trust in life itself. I seemed to always have a plan B in every situation, so that, when I was let down, I had my own way of meeting my need.
As you might imagine it`s taken many painful years of ministry and discipleship to move from a place of total distrust to a place of being trusting. I have to confess I thought I was doing well until the other day when an area of distrust became apparent. This wasn`t a distrust involving people, but a distrust in God. It didn`t take me long to realise that I was really quite fearful of trusting God fully. Oh! I could say it with my mouth, but deep in my spirit I had a constant plan B in operation. Because it was deep in my spirit I knew that this was rooted in the broken trust of so long ago. So I began to seek the Lord and to look into His word for a way forward.
As I looked up scripture verses that talk about trust, the word `refuge` kept appearing. For example, if you look up today`s verse in the NKJV you will read `My God, my strength, in whom I will trust`. There are also several other passage where `refuge` is used instead of the word `trust`. I had never seen this before, and this new revelation changed trust from being something risky into something very safe. The word `refuge` is one which brings with it images of strength, safety, and somewhere to run when the storms of life are raging. A refuge is something we seek in times of trouble; a place of hiding when we`re afraid. It`s a place where our needs are met, and a place to rest when we`re weary. But perhaps, above all, it`s a place of protection. This is a vastly different picture of trust than the one I had before.
I wonder what trust means to you? Is it something easy, or hard? Perhaps you see trust like I did, as something risky, unsafe and scary. I`m sure many of us have had our trust broken in some way or another. And out of that broken trust we`ve learnt ways of having a plan B, putting our trust only in ourselves. Maybe, like me, you`ve become safe in the unsafe place, hiding behind the shield of distrust. But maybe, just maybe, you`re willing to come out from behind that shield. The truth is that, in God, trust is a place of safety, security, protection and strength. So today let`s stop trusting in ourselves and choose to trust in God ... in all things!
Prayer: Father thank You that You`re my refuge and my very present help in times of trouble. I`m sorry that I`ve put my trust in myself and not In You, and that I`ve found my own ways of meeting my needs and protecting myself. Please forgive me for this. I choose today to take refuge in You, and trust You in all things. I know You`re a place of safety and protection, and You`re trustworthy. Help me, Lord, to see trust as a place of safety. In Jesus` name, Amen.
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