I have recently lost my husband after an operation for a hip fracture from which he never recovered. He was an old man, nearly twenty years older than me, and he was very tired, so I was half expecting it, but after 42 years of marriage it still comes as a shock.
I was called by the hospital at three o’clock in the morning, saying that he was dying, and as I drove the ten miles over the fells in a beautiful frosty moonlit night, I clearly heard the voice of God speaking to me: ‘Lo, I am with you even to the ends of the earth’. I somehow knew I would be too late, but when I saw him, he looked so peaceful, almost smiling.
On the day of his funeral there was a rainbow over those same fells and although it is a struggle to come to terms with being on my own, I have been so conscious of the presence of the Lord with me.
We may think that God doesn’t understand what it is like when we lose a loved one, but when He walked this earth Jesus experienced the loss of His dear friend, Lazarus, and wept at his tomb. God understands separation too, when Jesus went through the crucifixion and was separated from His Father by our sins which He was carrying.
Our younger daughter has recently been married, and our faithful God gave us a most beautiful day, bright and sunny, in the middle of a week of rain and hail. It was cold and there was frost on the ground when we left the marquee at night, but the sun was warm enough to allow photographs of that happy day to be taken in the lovely surroundings where we had the reception.
Nothing and nobody will ever be able to take the place of a dearly loved husband, but our wonderful God is able to bring comfort and peace into our spirits and be very real to us in times of loneliness, and I know without any shadow of doubt that He will be with me, wherever I go and whatever I choose to do during the remainder of my life.
Prayer: Loving Father God, I thank You so very much for Your love and faithfulness. You have promised never to leave us, nor forsake us, and that You will be with us to the ends of the earth. Thank You that You are so trustworthy and I can lean on You in times of loneliness and sadness and know that You are there. Amen.
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