Open Handed

I’ve recently been reflecting on the wide variety of people that God brings to Ellel Grange and feeling awed at seeing so much fruit in their lives.

I’m amazed by watching God at work and ask myself continuously why we’re seeing such life transformation. In Luke 9:11 we see the priorities of Jesus which we endeavour to live out, giving a gracious welcome, great Biblical teaching and lots of time given over to prayer ministry where we come before God together and seek His ways in a person’s life. But John and I have been committed to each of these things in many different contexts over the years, sometimes where it’s been very costly. We’ve always longed to draw people closer into relationship with Jesus so they can live as His disciples whatever their circumstances. We still do. We know it’s all about God at the end of the day.  Always was and always will be. So why so much fruit now?

God is always present and willing and able. But the thing I’ve observed over the past few years at Ellel Grange is that it’s something about the way people surrender when we come to the end of our own strength and recognise that we’re supposed to need God. We actually weren’t designed to ‘do life’ without God, and it’s only when we let go of our own ways of ‘making life work’ that we turn to God with empty, open hands and let Him have His way.

I often ponder the reality that many of us might well say (and actually believe) that we are open to God when we are really holding huge things away from Him. These may be the things we’re too frightened to admit, even to ourselves, and the things - and people - that we try to ‘manage’ because the thought of stopping doing that is too scary to contemplate. “I’m surrendering my life Lord, I’m singing the songs about laying it all down… but not that, and I need to keep control of this, and I can’t talk to You about that other thing because that’s, well, it’s just too shameful!”

But it’s so powerful when we can come with truly open hands and acknowledge our need. Often people have lives that look great on the outside; nice family, good job, lovely church, often in leadership, but on the inside there’s a vulnerability, a struggle, a heart cry: “I’m at the end of myself and I need you God.” And then… that’s where He works. It’s amazing. And I feel so privileged to watch.

It’s interesting to observe that so many people who come, do so about my age: 50s, 60s. It feels like we’ve spent our whole lives working hard to hold it all together, to navigate our - often painful - childhoods, then grow up, get married, have a career, have kids, get our kids through their own childhoods, and launched into their own lives. Through the decades we can have been powerful and full of drive and had so much activity that there hasn't been the space - physical or emotional - to consider our deeper stories. But then it becomes harder to keep all the difficult stuff and the big emotions under control, and the relational issues feel too much to keep navigating, and life gets a bit too complicated for the energy levels to deal with and… finally… there’s the realisation, the admission maybe, of coming to the end of ourselves. And then we let God be God.