Love is Patient

Like me, you may be very familiar with the verse above which comes from Paul’s letter to the Corinthian church. It is part of a section often subtitled ‘Love’ in Bible texts (though the subtitles, like the chapter and verses that we are so familiar with, were not present in the original text). It is a passage frequently used during a marriage service, even though marriage wasn’t the situation Paul was addressing when he wrote these now very familiar words. I wonder sometimes whether we can be too familiar with it and somehow stop hearing what it actually says.

Reflecting on this recently, I thought it was interesting that, when Paul wants to describe to his readers what love is truly all about, the first word he uses is ‘patience’. I suspect that had we not already read this, if we were asked to describe what love is, patience wouldn’t be the first word that would spring to mind.

So, why did Paul suggest that patience is foremost amongst the ways of describing what love is? Of course, it’s impossible to know for sure. But I’ve been pondering why Paul would choose such an interesting, and frankly, unromantic, virtue as patience, when describing the essence of love.

This led me to reflect on my own life and some of the moments when I have been particularly impatient. One such time was when I was fifteen years old. We lived in the countryside far apart from friends and the excitements that the town offered. Because my birthday is in the summer, most of my classmates were already sixteen and had been able to ride mopeds for some time. They were now happily sailing round the roads enjoying their new-found independence. Meanwhile, I was sadly restricted to my much slower pedal-powered push bike.

One day I could bear it no more. Having acquired a moped, but not yet reached the age where I could legally ride it on the roads, my impatience grew too much for me, and I took it out for a ride, uninsured, untaxed even un-helmeted! I didn’t go far, but when I returned home a few minutes later my distraught mother gave me the telling off of my life! She pointed out in great detail all the horrors that might have happened, only a few days before I could have achieved the same thrill completely legally, if I’d just had a little patience.

Remembering that moment now, decades later, really spoke to me of why patience is such a good way to explain what love is about. Patience is about waiting. It’s about bearing with the other. It’s about putting the other first. Impatience, on the other hand, is about me first. It’s saying: “I want it, and I want it now”! If love is essentially other-centred, then impatience is its opposite. It puts my wants, my agenda, first. And that’s simply not what love’s really all about.

So, do you want to be a bit more loving - more loving towards your spouse, if you have one, your children if you have them, your neighbours, friends, or whomever God brings across your path? Well, why not ask the Lord, who is the embodiment of patience, to help you to be just that little bit more patient in your dealings with whomever it may be. That’s something you certainly don’t have to wait to do!