Do I Love Him?

I woke up this morning with a song running through my head. It was from ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’ by Andrew Lloyd Webber: ‘I don’t know how to love Him.’ Then I started thinking, “Is this for me? Do I really know how to love Him?”  I’m not sure. How can I truly love someone I’ve never seen? I know Him. I trust Him. I believe in Him, but do I love Him? I know I should. How can I do this?

Then I remembered the exhortation in Proverbs 3:5: ‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.’ Love and trust, are they interchangeable? I can surely trust in the Lord. But love Him? I felt trust was a good substitute for love, until I was able to come to terms with it.

We’re told not to be anxious about anything (Philippians 4:6). Am I anxious? I don’t think so. If I can trust Him, I need not be anxious. And as we bring our prayers before Him, with thanksgiving, His peace fills our heart and mind. ‘He Himself is our peace’ (Ephesians 2:14). I can trust Him and know His love and protection, and peace.

The joy of the Lord is my strength (Nehemiah 8:10)). That’s His joy, passed on to me. ‘For the joy that was set before Him He endured the cross’ (Hebrews 12:2). He knew where He was going. Do we know where we’re going? We should. ‘Those the Lord has rescued will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away’ (Isaiah 51:11). That’s where we’re heading. Our future is secure. And no one can take it away.

What are the temporary barbs that wound us compared to the eternal relationship we have in Jesus? 'For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all’ (1Corinthians 4:17).

Then I thought of His agony. I couldn’t fathom the extent of pain and suffering He went through, for me. I couldn’t comprehend the extent of His love for the world, that would cause him to die for us all, without His beloved Father by His side, alone and surrounded by alien, hostile people that He Himself had created, out of love. All He wanted was to draw His cherished people back to Himself, and the promise of eternal glory with the Father.

And here I am, in the middle of it all, wondering what it’s all about. I need to stop wondering and start receiving, and giving. I need to return some of the love He showered upon me. Otherwise, it was all for nothing. To think I was questioning whether or not I loved Him.

Yes, Lord Jesus. I love You, with all my heart. Please forgive my hesitation, and take me with You wherever You go, in gratitude and thanksgiving.