Ten years ago, my husband and I came through the doors of Ellel Ministries for a healing retreat. I confess my motive for going on the retreat was so that God would fix my husband.
At that time, we’d been married for twenty-four years, but only five of those years knowing Christ. Although believers, our marriage was growing further and further apart, despite the individual growth we were each experiencing. What was wrong?
As I look back now, I clearly see the pride and bitterness in my own heart that kept me from serving and honouring my husband. My focus was on him, his sin and I was keeping a long record of his wrongs against me over the years.
When a heart becomes hard due to pride, bitterness and offence, it’s nearly impossible to move forward in any relationship. The problem wasn’t him, it was with me.
However, something happened just before we came on our healing retreat that I believe God used to save our marriage.
I have always liked our bed to be made nicely before I leave the house. One particular morning I got up too late to make up the bed, but when I came home in the afternoon our bed was made to perfection; just the way I would make it. I was surprised to say the least, but I said nothing to my husband. My pride wouldn’t allow me to acknowledge his kindness.
The next day I purposely left the bed un-made and, to my amazement, by the time I got home, it was once again prepared exactly the way I liked it. I’m embarrassed to say that the following day I went back and messed the bed he had made just because I was so aggravated by what he was doing. Remarkably, when I got home that night, the bed was perfect, and he never said a thing!
He continued to make the bed every day after that. Somewhere within that time frame, God used my husband’s humility and servant heart to begin breaking down the walls of offence that I had erected in my hard heart. He also began loosening the bitter roots that had grown up and were blocking me from receiving God’s grace through my husband.
You see, God had a gift for me, and I was getting in the way.
During our healing retreat, we were welcomed with unconditional love, taught Kingdom principles and positioned through confession and repentance to receive healing and deliverance from the Lord. I experienced the love of Father God deep in my heart for the first time. My marriage, my family and I have never been the same.
We look back now about the whole bed-making thing with laughter and tears of gratitude for God’s extraordinary goodness to us and our family. By the way, he still makes the bed!
>Prayer: Father, You’re amazing and Your generosity astounds me! Forgive me for my stubborn pride and for nurturing bitterness in my heart. Please soften my heart today in whatever way You see fit. Your ways are only good. Thank You for Your faithful love. Amen.
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