Jesus Is a Friend of Mine

The Beatles sang ‘All You Need Is Love.’ Which begs the question, what kind of love do I really need?

In the English language, there is only word for ‘love.’  That’s unfortunate because it requires me to use the same word whether I am expressing my love of football or my wife, of Jesus or pizza. In contrast, the ancient Greeks had multiple words for love. These include ‘eros’ (romantic) love, ‘agape’ (sacrificial) love and ‘philia’ (brotherly) love.

Of these, we tend to elevate eros love. We even set aside a day each year, Valentine’s Day, to celebrate the love we have for our spouse and which, for us as Christians, mirrors the uniquely intimate relationship between Christ and His Bride, us. And we know God’s agape love is the noblest form of love, demonstrated through Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross (John 3:16) - unconditional, sacrificial, selfless.

But what about Philia love – the love we have for our brothers and sisters? And for Jesus? Do we value and celebrate the brotherly love we have for those we regard as friends? It seems not. Because research tells us we are in a ‘friendship recession.’ In the UK, research by The Movember Foundation in 2018 found 27% of men had no close friends.

So, I find myself asking what is friendship? Well, it’s not ‘man’s best friend,’ his dog. Nor is it, I venture, the friends we make on Facebook. Or the numerous acquaintances we meet in our busy lives through work, the gym or, dare I say, our church. A friend is so much more.

Scripture has much to say about friendship. Proverbs 18:24 tells us ‘A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother,’ highlighting the difference between superficial acquaintances and friends. And we see rich portrayals of friendship in the lives of David and Jonathan (1 Samuel 18:1-3), Ruth and Naomi (Ruth 1:16) and Mary and Elizabeth (Luke 1:39-45).

A friend is someone we can talk to, depend on, grow with and enjoy. Jesus models these qualities in John 15:9-17 where He says He no longer thinks of us as servants but as “friends.” Why? Because, while a master doesn’t share his private life with his servant, Jesus does with us. In us, Jesus has someone to talk to – and we to Him (verse 15). A friend, He says, make sacrifices for his friends, knowing that they would do the same for him (verse 13). Jesus invites us to grow with Him and bear fruit (verse 16). And He says that, if we remain in His love, His deep joy will be ours (verses 10-11).

Jesus commands us to love others as He has loved us (verse 12). In doing so, He draws us into friendships. The friendships recorded in the Bible are, therefore, not a biblical distraction. They are essential in our Christian walk. To be a friend to someone is a Holy vocation. It is the sharing of a sacred trust. To see our friendships flourish is to embrace our identity as a friend of Jesus.

Today is UN ‘International Day of Friendship.’ Be encouraged to reach out to someone in friendship.