The Fear of Man

I wonder, have you ever felt judged? Have you ever known that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach when you realise you’ve been judged, quietly or loudly, and thought badly of? Have you ever suspected that you’ve been mis-judged? It’s truly horrible. Everything within you wants to explain, to defend, to ‘tell your side of the story’. Sometimes you get the opportunity, and sometimes - maybe mostly - you never do. Instead, you have to live with the horror of knowing someone’s judgment hangs over you and feeling lost as to how to climb out from under the weight of it.

There have been several times recently when I’ve known the pain of another’s judgement. Either someone who believes I’ve acted wrongly, or someone who has a view that’s different, and feels mine is unacceptable. Or, and this is really painful, when there’s something about my way of living that seeks to be honest to Jesus, but that cuts against the world’s culture, and attracts great censure, ridicule, or outrage because of that.

Where can we go to be judged rightly? Where can we find truth and solace in the midst of this?

To Jesus. That’s where I go.

Jesus is the only one who knows the whole story, and who’s able to bring a right judgment. At times like this, when our sense of self is confronted, we are in pain, and when we need to see clearly, we can come in true humility to the throne of God. We can re-orientate ourselves to the Lord.

In this kind of situation, I find myself hungry to search God’s Word, to throw myself upon His mercy, to find His truth and grace in what are often confusing circumstances. Not to gather allies around me who’ll agree with me, soothe my ruffled feathers, and bolster my fragile sense of self. Not to be self-righteous, or magnificent, in my own eyes. But to find myself in Him, and discover that the things which make me valuable, and make my life worth something, are actually all about Him.

So, any kind of evaluation or judgment by anyone other than the Lord Jesus, who knows everything, and who loves us enough to sacrifice everything for us, is worthless: painful, often shameful, sometimes false. And our own judgement is so limited. We bump into each other as we judge, and come under the judgment of one another.

The only place it’s actually safe to live is at the foot of the cross. This is where we can have full confidence that Jesus understands completely, and where we can find the freedom of true repentance, and the release of true forgiveness. This isn’t something we can manufacture or manoeuvre around. It’s not actually about us. It’s all about Him. Oh … what a relief!