What If?
by Annalene Holtzhausen
“What if?”, are two little words that can keep your mind going around and around in circles with no end in sight. I don’t know about you, but these two words have kept me quite busy at times.
Covid-19 has influenced our lives greatly, and currently almost every conversation touches on the subject. For some it has been stressful, and their lives have been greatly disrupted. Many people have lost loved ones and have to go through the grieving process on their own. Other people have also lost their jobs and income, which has brought about huge strain and fear. Older people in retirement homes have been unable to see their families and are lonely. Many people have had to cancel plans, and the uncertainty linked to Covid-19 makes it impossible to plan for the future. The list is endless.
Personally, I twice thought that I had contracted the virus and found myself checking symptoms over and over. My worry wasn’t so much about myself, but about who I had possibly infected without knowing about it. Recently, I prayed about whether to visit my elderly parents, since my dad had been ill, and I ended up going to them for a few days.
Whilst there, I started coughing, and the spiral of thoughts started again. My mind was racing around and ended up in endless “What ifs?” It was exhausting! Only when I read a message from a friend did I gain perspective again. She reminded me that I had to trust that I heard God right, and I had to continue to trust Him. He says that He answers when we pray. Matthew 7:8 confirms this: “For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”
Over the next day or two, I settled in the truth that God is in control and that He won’t let anything come our way that is not in His perfect will. He also wants what is best for us. When I had allowed uncertainty control over my thoughts, I had also allowed fear to take over. But when I allowed God’s truth to take over, I allowed His peace to settle me.
This quote became so relevant again: ‘It’s not so much about what happens to you, but about what you do with what happens to you.’ Even though we know the truth that our struggle is against the powers of this dark world (Ephesians 6:12), it doesn’t mean that we are always able to stand when trials come our way. I know where some of my weaknesses are, and that the enemy likes to target those areas.
I have grown in the knowledge of how to stand on The Word of God in those moments, and to lean on Him for strength and wisdom. I have learnt to recognise the struggle for what it is, and to stand firm in God’s truth. But I still falter and fall. The wonderful part of this is that God meets me where I’m at, and every time He shows me the way forward. Not once has the Lord left me to carry on alone in my turmoil.
Every time the question, “What if?” pops up, you can answer with, “But God said …” Allow God to quieten your turmoil with His words in Psalm 46:10, ‘Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth’.
Prayer: Thank You dear Father that You are with me every step of the way. Please settle any unrest and questions in my heart with Your truth. Thank You that You are my stability and hope in every situation. Amen.
Annalene Holtzhausen is on the Associate Team at Ellel, Africa. She is married to Renier, who introduced her to Ellel Ministries. She is a full-time mother to their two boys. Her passion is for the restoration of women’s hearts and for people to find their worth in the Lord.
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