People and Pedestals

The Lord created us for relationship; firstly, with Him, and then with the people in our lives. We were never created to live lonely lives, but rather to have healthy relationships with our family, friends and colleagues.

Godly relationships are healthy relationships where trust, respect, nurture and acceptance allow us to grow and be who the Lord created us to be. They are relationships where we feel safe and loved; where we blossom into who we are, and develop our gifts and talents to honour the Lord. In a godly relationship, we should also be open to healthy correction spoken into our lives without being offended, because we know the motivation is one of love.

Ungodly relationships are characterised by fear, manipulation, rejection, domination, jealousy, unhealthy boundaries, control and anything that undermines who the Lord planned for us to be. Sometimes we need to assess the relationships we are in, and seek the Lord’s will over each one.

Unfortunately, healthy relationships are often not so easy, because of all the hurts and wounds we receive from other people, and situations we find ourselves in. We live in a fallen world, where the enemy is prowling around intent on causing destruction as much as he can. Many people have to work through very traumatic experiences, and it can take years for the physical, emotional and spiritual wounds to heal. The good news for everyone, is that the Lord is able to bring the healing, if we’re willing to allow Him into our hurt and pain. His heart is to make us completely whole again, to live joyful lives of hope and purpose that bring Him honour.

Sometimes a good relationship in our lives can take a different route, and end up causing a lot of confusion in our spiritual walk. This happens when we place people on pedestals. Our focus shifts so slightly that we often don’t realise it until much later. So, when feeling vulnerable, we can fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others and then usually find ourselves lacking in so many areas. Maybe we know someone who – in our eyes – seems to have the perfect life, or seems to be the perfect spouse, parent, or even Christian. They become our role model or idol, and we measure everything we do by them and how they would do it. We maybe also decide that their advice is above anyone else’s, and that whatever they speak over us, is truth – even above God’s truth. In the end, our focus is on the person and not on the Lord.

A relationship like this can bring so much hurt, especially when we realise that the person is fallible like everyone else, makes mistakes, and disappoints us. We need discernment in our relationships, so we can learn from others, but not ever place them above the Lord. No one is superior to another. The Lord sees each of us as His righteous children, and as the apple of His eye. Each one of us can come boldly to His throne and receive His mercy and help (Hebrews 4:16).

Prayer: Lord, thank You that You see me as worthy and righteous in You. I bring to You every one of my insecurities and struggle. I choose to trust You, first and foremost, for my healing and restoration. Forgive me for the times I placed people and their opinions above You. Help me to find my identity in You, and not in people. Teach me how to live and move and have my being in You. Amen.