by Grace Bull
20 March 2009« Previous Day | Next Day »
There was a time when I knew in my head that God loved me, but I really didn’t know it in my heart. It was just words to me. That was the reason why I first went to an Ellel Ministries weekend course (Love’s Healing Power) and soon afterwards to a longer 9-week training school.
It was on the 9-week school that the change happened and I began to feel in my heart that I was truly loved by God. There had been a block in the way and once that was removed, the difference was awesome. God’s love is warm, radiant and sustaining. However, it takes time for a major change like that to reach every part, and the awareness of being loved by God is still growing and enlarging, reaching new parts of me as I let Him have access to them.
One important aspect has been learning to receive God’s love and not to brush it off or dismiss it. I think we tend to do that because we’re afraid. We fear that we might believe we are loved when we aren’t and so we’ll be disappointed (again!).
I would hear words in my mind, which seemed as if they were from God. Loving, kind, approving words like “well done, I’m pleased with you.” I would be afraid to accept that it could possibly be God speaking. What if I was wrong? Could that be blasphemous in some way, to believe God was more pleased with me than he really was? Yet I came to see that He loves me (and you as well) far more than we can possibly imagine. It’s impossible for us to assume He loves us more than He really does!
Do you ever find yourself in church, and you just can’t join the worship in your heart? Perhaps the words of the song say how happy you are feeling (but you’re not) or how glowing your love for God is (when you know it isn’t today). I used to have times like that, until I allowed God to highlight a few of the words of the song and sing them to me!
It might be just one line or a whole section of a song. Perhaps words like “I love you so much” or “you are beautiful beyond description.” Can you imagine God singing that to you? He would like to. If you don’t really feel loved by God, why not allow him to sing to you sometimes?
We love because he first loved us.
Prayer: Father, thank You for your immense, unchanging love for me. Help me to trust You, that You really do love me personally, and that You love not just the nice parts of me, but the whole of me just as I am now. That’s so amazing. Please help me to accept that love. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
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