About ten years ago God challenged me to get rid of the dualism in my life. I knew what He meant because I felt very much that my life was in two parts. There was the Christian part, that included my Church life, relationships, and my involvement in Ellel Ministries. Then there was the secular part, which was everything else, including and especially my work. If I tried to explain to anyone how I felt they never understood.
I work as a nurse, so they all thought that, as it’s a caring thing to do, there was no problem. But I couldn’t understand why God needed nurses. After all, that wasn’t how Jesus did His healing. I actually felt quite guilty that I enjoyed my job. I couldn’t see how to get rid of this dualism that God talked about, without giving up my job, most of my family and social life, and working full time for the Kingdom. Yet there didn’t seem to be an option to do that.
I prayed about this over the years, and often prayed that the Lord would renew my mind so I would be transformed. Romans 12:2 was always a special verse for me. But in recently remembering this struggle, and the prayers, I realised that God has answered. The dualism has gone, the striving has gone. Alleluia! How has it happened? Well it was coming into a wider, longer, higher, deeper knowledge of God’s love for me, through understanding the Covenant that God made with us through Jesus. He loves us all of the time, not just when we’re doing something specifically for Him, and He loves us to enjoy ourselves.
I remember teaching about the prodigal son coming home to ask his father to allow him to be a servant. I felt the need to emphasis clearly that the Father wasn’t looking for servants. He was looking for His precious son to come home and be with him, and live with Him as a son in the household. I could teach it, but I’m not sure that I really knew it for myself, in that deep ‘knowing’ place in my heart.
Prayer: Dear heavenly father, may we know and understand more clearly and deeply Your love for us, and may the knowledge of that love have transforming power in our lives. Amen.
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