You Are Not Alone
by Annalene Holtzhausen
For many years I battled with the thought that my faith was weak. Whenever I read the verse about having faith the size of a mustard seed (Matthew 17:20), I felt so inadequate, since my faith would never be able to move a mountain. I never realised that this was actually self-condemnation, until recently, whilst doing a Bible study course on The Armour of God by Priscilla Shirer. She just explained faith in a way that made my eyes open up to God’s truth: “Good faith isn’t a certain size or strength; it’s simply faith that’s directed at and rooted in a good God.”
It was one of those moments when I knew, deep inside, that the Lord had exposed a lie in my belief system. I realised that the enemy had very subtly shifted my focus on to my ‘weak’ faith and away from the One my faith is directed at. So every time, when faced with a challenging situation, I would become anxious, and so aware that my faith wasn’t strong enough or good enough. It was a vicious cycle of self-condemnation, inferiority and anxiety. But now I realise that it’s not about me; it’s about God and His ability. So even though my faith is often weak, I can rest in God’s power and ability, and not in the ‘size’ of my faith.
In today’s verse we read that, even though Jesus was in the boat with the disciples, they were still afraid. But they knew that Jesus was able to help them, and woke Him. Recently, when faced with another challenge, today’s verse came to my mind and reminded me: “Jesus is here with me – just as He was with the disciples”. It wasn’t about my fear; it was about Him in whom I place my trust. In my fear I can turn to Him and He will calm the storm. He will fill me with His peace, as I focus on Him and not on the situation, or on myself. Even though I don’t know what the outcome of each challenge will be, He is able, and will hold me together, no matter what.
When we read the verse about faith the size of a mustard seed in the Amplified Bible, ‘little faith’ is explained as follows: “He answered, ‘Because of your little faith [your lack of trust and confidence in the power of God]; for I assure you and most solemnly say to you, if you have [living] faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and [if it is God’s will] it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matthew 17:20, AMP).
The next time you are in a ‘storm’, remember to put your faith in the power of God; not in how ‘big’ your faith is. He is with you and you need not fear. He will take care of you and guide you step by step. Your faith will grow stronger; not because you are becoming a ‘better’ believer, but because you are learning to know your Father more, and growing in your relationship with Him.
Prayer: Thank You, dear Father, that You are able and powerful beyond understanding. The size of my faith doesn’t change who You are and what happens in my life. I realise now that it’s about my faith and confidence in You and Your power. Thank You that, when I am weak, You are strong. I rest in this knowledge. May every situation in my life teach me more and more about You, Lord. Amen.
Annalene Holtzhausen is on the Associate Team at Ellel, Africa. She is married to Renier, who introduced her to Ellel Ministries. She is a full-time mother to their two boys. Her passion is for the restoration of women’s hearts and for people to find their worth in the Lord.
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