Often in our walk of faith, we get side-tracked a bit without noticing it. The enemy is often so subtle in the way he works, that we don’t immediately realise that we’re just slightly off-centre.
A couple of years ago I learnt a very precious lesson in which I realised how easily we are deceived. Growing up, I was blessed to have wonderful parents who love and serve the Lord – I know, and always knew, that I’m loved and protected. My father is a very caring, dependable and consistent person. This has played a huge part in my image of God as my Rock. I know God will never change and I can always depend on Him. This is a very solid part of my foundation, and I honour my father for that.
Early on in my marriage I battled with the idea that my husband wasn’t (in my opinion) as consistent as my father was. He has a different personality and is impulsive every now and then! This was actually one of the first things I liked about him, as it often brings about an aspect of fun to life. But on some occasions I found it unsettling and I would interpret it as him being inconsistent. Negative thoughts started to build up inside me and I would allow these thoughts to brood in my mind.
One particular day, an incident between us stirred these thoughts again. I was upset and asked God why my husband wasn’t the more stable personality in our home. Why did I have to fill that role? It was supposed to be the man’s job.
The next moment the Lord spoke to me and said: “That’s MY role. I’m the stability in your home. It’s not your job, and not your husband’s either.” In that moment I confessed my sin and asked God to forgive me for being so self-righteous. I realised that I was not only – grudgingly - placing this responsibility on my shoulders, but I was trying to place it on my husband’s shoulders. My focus wasn’t truly on God. Yes, I saw Him as my Rock, but I wasn’t looking to Him for EVERY aspect of my life.
I realised we can all be guilty of trying to place burdens on other people’s shoulders. We expect them to take on roles that aren’t theirs to take on. Relationships get strained when we expect people to fill certain gaps or needs in our lives. In this way many people end up feeling inadequate around us, and we feel disappointed in them.
We should not look to man first, and then to God afterwards. God is our Alpha and our Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End (Revelation 22:13). The wonderful thing is that I don’t think of my husband as inconsistent anymore. He’s a wonderful, caring man, with such a generous heart. I often experience God’s love through him. My thoughts were wrong. I was focusing on what I thought was a problem, and missing the many blessings given to me.
Prayer: Dear Lord Jesus, thank You for being ALL I need. Please help me to see where I have placed burdens on other people’s shoulders by expecting them to fill needs in my life. Also where I have taken on burdens that are not mine to carry. Teach me to look unto You first and to re-align my focus to Your perfect Will. I honour You, Lord, for guiding and teaching me. Amen.
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